The Myth of the Ideal Woman (And Why You’re Not Here to Be Digestible)

Somewhere along the way, someone drew a chalk outline of the "ideal woman."
She was quiet—but not too quiet.
Sexy—but not too sexual.
Ambitious—but never threatening.
Beautiful—but only in ways that made others comfortable.

She was always almost something. Almost good enough, almost lovable, almost the kind of woman worth choosing, promoting, celebrating.

And we were told—taught, really—that our job was to contort ourselves to fit inside that outline.
To shrink. To mold. To round out the sharp edges of our fire.
To be nice when we were angry.
To smile when we were tired.
To stay silent when we were wise.

But here’s the truth:
The ideal woman is a myth. A performance. A cage wrapped in compliments.

You are not here to be palatable.
You are not here to be digestible.
You are here to be real.

That means being too loud sometimes.
Too soft. Too wild. Too tender. Too opinionated. Too powerful.
Too much of everything the world doesn’t know how to hold.

And it’s not your job to make yourself smaller just so others can carry you more easily.

The truth is, you were never meant to fit.
You were meant to expand. To crack things open.
To take up space in rooms that forgot you belonged there.
To unlearn the lie that worth is something earned through performance.

So no, you are not the "ideal" woman.

You are something far more dangerous.
Far more beautiful.
Far more free.

You are whole, unruly, holy—exactly as you are.

And that? That is more than enough.